Stop Getting Dogs High (We Really Shouldn’t Have to Write This)

Within the last week, at least two dogs have been rushed to a St. John’s vet after ingesting discarded marijuana edibles.

But this is a rare example of a classic stoner mishap, right?

Sadly, no.

According to a Nova Scotia veterinarian who spoke with CBC back in January, cases of marijuana toxicity in pets are on the rise. Astonishingly, the Pet Poison Helpline has seen a 448% increase in marijuana cases over the last 6 years.

While treating pets with cannabis oil for medical reasons has grown in popularity, your furry friends getting whacked on edibles or raw bud is nowhere near the same thing.

For example, a dog’s tolerance to marijuana is even lower than the lightest weight toker in your friend group who you all laugh at when they get lit up like a xmas tree and struggle to perform basic human tasks. A dog who gets too high isn’t going to just munch out on a big bag of Alpo and pass out with an Xbox controller on his fuzzy belly. In fact, THC can be toxic to your pets, and they’re probably going to get really sick.

While you have the luxury of eating too many brownies and erroneously convincing yourself that you need to go to the emergency room in a fit of paranoia, your dog’s situation would be much more of a dire reality. Your dog would probably need medical attention, and even worse for the poor little fellow, they’ll have no sweet clue what the hell is going on.

Telltale signs that your pup is on pot include uncontrollable urination, low heart rate, vomiting, drooling, physical weakness, and pale gums.

If you’re a dog owner who loves your furry buds as much as your dank ones, make sure to keep your stash tucked away in a safe place. It really isn’t too much to ask, and it is your responsibility to make sure your four-legged pals stay happy, healthy, and not blitzed out of their goddamn skulls.

Both St. John’s incidents within the last week saw dogs eating ditched edibles off the ground while they were out with their owners for routine walks. While owners can only stay so vigilant in these situations, this one is really at the fault of THE sloppy stoners out there who are giving the rest of us a bad name.

If you’re intentionally ditching edibles on the ground, there are three vital items you need to consider:
A) Don’t be so goddamn wasteful.
B) If you wanna embody a stereotype of a stoner, why not do the environmental hippie thing and not litter.
C)Think of the animals, man. If a big cute dummy of a dog doesn’t snatch up those Scooby snacks, you better believe there is gonna be a seagull getting too fucked up and harshing the buzz of the rest of the flock (in reality, the seagull would probably just die).

In the off chance the the edibles were dropped by accident, the advice is quite simple:

Get a handle on your shit! Edibles can be fun as hell to the right people, but they’re not something you should be reckless while carrying. If you get too stoned and forget to zip up your backpack, get a fanny pack. At least that way if your goods fall out they’re right in front of your face.

Most kids are taught not to eat something off the ground. Even if it might look good to eat. Y’know, like a muffin or a beet. We teach this for many reasons, and one of those reasons is the rare occasion that the thing that looks like a muffin or a beet might actually just be drugs. Unfortunately, we cannot teach this to Sparky or Rufus, and they are gonna instinctually snatch that seemingly delicious shit up like it descended from the doggy heavens for them being such a good pup.

This is on you, fellow consumers of edibles. If you can’t hold onto your goods, don’t carry em. Leaving your dosed delectables laying around in public places is irresponsible, and we cannot believe we have to be write this in 2018.

Oh, and one final thing:

In the occurrence that these weed treats were ditched during some encounter with the cops:

Federal legalization should hopefully take care of this situation come October, but for the time being, do the responsible thing next time and eat your stash yourself and hope you can talk your way out of whatever you got yourself into before the shit kicks in.

C’mon folks, it’s easy. Lets not feed any more cannon fodder to those who demonize our favourite herbs and spices, and we can do that by not feeding our favourite herbs and spices to our big goofy pets who already get high enough on life at the simple sight of a tennis ball.

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